Thursday, June 2, 2011

Kids Say the Darnest Things!

Got these from a forwarded mail my mom sent to me.

What Kids Say about the Ocean:

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.(Kelly, age 6 )

Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (age 7)

Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson She's not my friend any more. (Kyie,age 6)

A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.(Billy, age 8)

My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men, a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7 )

Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.. (Julie, age 7)

The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

My dad was a sailor on the ocean and knows all about the ocean.What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

Thursday, April 14, 2011

I Believe...

Here's a poem I read some where.

I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
It doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
It doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe ...
That we don't have to change friends if
We understand that friends change.
I Believe ...
That no matter how good a friend is,
s/he is going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive her/him for that.
I Believe ...
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I Believe ...
That you can do something in an instant
That will give you heartache for life.

I Believe ...
That it's taking me a long time
To become the person I want to be.
I Believe ...
That you should always leave loved ones with
Loving words. It may be the last time you see
I Believe ...
That you can keep going long after you think
you can't.
I Believe ...
That we are responsible for what
We do, no matter how we feel.
I Believe ...
That either you control your attitude or it
controls you.

I Believe ...
That heroes are the people who do what has to
be done when it needs to be done, regardless
of the consequences.

I Believe ...
That my best friend and I can do anything or
nothing and have the best time.

I Believe ...
That sometimes the people you expect to kick
you when you're down will be the ones to help
you get back up.

I Believe ...
That sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe ...
That maturity has more to do with what types
of experiences you've had
And what you've learned from them and less to
do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe ...
That it isn't always enough,
to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive

I Believe ...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken,
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe ...
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
But, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe ...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find
out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I Believe ...
Two people can look at the exact same
Thing and see something totally different.

I Believe ...
That your life can be changed in a matter of
Hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe ...
That even when you think you have no more to
When a friend cries out to you -
you will find the strength to help.

I Believe ...
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
They just make the most of everything they

Monday, March 21, 2011

Habits- the Bad Bits

You know how they say "love is blind"? Well, to a certain extent: It is true- no matter how much you want to deny. But I would correct it to say "love is oblivious, rather than blind". Obviously, most of us know what we are getting ourselves into, we see and have a glimpse of what the other person is like ( some things we like, some things we don't.), but at that point in time, that super feeling of loooove covers and overpowers the reality of love, and a glimpse at a distance is a lot different from living in it.

Yea you get where I'm going. What happens when that feeling fades ( they say that feeling of oblivious love only last for about 2 or 3 years on average before reality sets in ) and you begin to see things that you didn't think was such a big deal before, or you thought you had no problem living with em; but you realize that you are starting to get irritated by em. Em, you ask? Yes, Em! Those little habits of your other half.

Isn't it ever so common and often that: (Examples are observed from the general behavior of men and women since forever and not directed to anyone in particular)

You walk, and oppss, you trip over his clothes left on the floor. Or how about this: he keeps wetting the toilet seat, and never puts it down. Oh oh and what about him leaving his newspapers everywhere. At first it doesn't really bother you. But still, you tell yourself that its ok and he will listen if you tell him. So Yea, you tell him once. It seems to have fallen on deaf ears. You go ahead and pick up after him. By this time its already starting to get to you a tiny little bit. So you tell him again. He does it ( or doesn't do it) once and forgets the times after that. So you TELL him again. And AGAIN. AND AGAIN. And by now you are beginning to run of patience and you have a twitched in your face every time you see it happen again!

Most of us, while facing these kind of situations, usually walk down either path: the Stink-bomb path or the Silent-Killer path.

The Stink-bomb
As you can imagine, in her frustration bursts out in anger, starts to nag, picks on everything - and often forces the other half running for cover, far far away, holding his nose( in this case, his ears)!

Words like these are ever so predictable:

"What do you think I am? Your maid ah? Why do I have to keep picking up after you? I told you to so many times not to..."

" I come back so tired and I still have to clean up and nag you... I'm so fed up! I'm tired of always being your servant..."

"How many times do i have to tell you..."


"Is it so hard just to put up the toilet seat? Use your common sense!"

Not only does the Stink-bomb NOT respect the other significant half, but she also exerts her pride, self righteousness, and self pity. And the more she does it, the more she pushes him away from her, and the more he retaliates, and often without realizing it until it's too late and she wakes up one day to find that he is present in person but absent in heart. How sad for a relationship to be in that state!

The Silent-Killer
What about the Silent-killer? The Silent-killer is quite the opposite, but yet just as deadly. She doesn't say anything even though inside she is frustrated to keep the "peace".. She rather keeps quiet and thinks by doing that it is better to do that than start a fight. She thinks she is doing him a favour by not nagging him. But is she, really? Quite the contrary actually. By doing that, she is allowing him to be as ignorant and insensitive as he already is ( Yea, you know, guys can be quite insensitive sometimes and they don't notice the "love and service" we think we obviously show) and she is allowing herself to wallow up and grow in her sorrow, self-pity, frustration, anger, hostility, grudge and bitterness. Sure, she argues that she can keep it inside, but tell me, how long can she hang on before the growing bitterness and frustration leaks out and fills the room with silent poison and eventually kills the relationship? It slowly contaminates the relationship and causes both to drift apart (And he didn't even know what he did wrong! ).

Figured out which category you are? I personally feel that I have a tendency to be the Silent-killer. I believe that being women, all of us has the tendency to to be either one - we can't help it, after all we are the off springs of the Fallen Eve. It's just the matter of intensity and extremity and how we deal and overcome these tendencies.

So where do we go from here? Well, let's take it a step at a time:

1. Realization and Acceptance

First of all, you have to come to a realization and acceptance that he is who he is, and must come to a realization and acceptance that he MAY NEVER change. Really, no matter how many times you silently pick up after him, or tell him, nag him, do the silent treatment, maybe even scream at him...nope it's not going to work and he may never realize your kind, noble efforts. Also, you must accept that it is NOT our job to change him; you CAN'T change him and you CANNOT expect him to change.

Accept that he is JUST A MAN, (not god, not a hero, not superman or some supernatural being that can read your mind and emotions), but he is trying to love you the best he can ( Tho it might be different from how you would like him to love you- after all, they are not women). He is just a mortal, just like us. And all of us had fallen short of His glory.

Every time you have the urge to start nagging him, stop and think about this: Does he pick on you? He doesn't. Is it because you are flawless and have no faults? Is it because you are better than him?

Boy oh boy, that's a far cry. No, He doesn't because he accepts you as you are, even tho you randomly have emotional breakdowns or explode during PMSes (He will be going" What in the world is going on? I have no idea what's there to be so emotional or upset about.), even tho you are a clean freak, or when you have a uncontrollable habit to shop till you drop. ( If he does pick on you too then he needs to read this too!) Believe me, these habits of ours seem normal to us, (our women world) but to them it is a very strange, illogical and complicated world.

Have you ever thought that the habits that you have might be irritating to him as well? So just as he accepts that THAT is just you, you should also soften your heart and accept that THAT is just him. So this reflection of yourself should lead you to come humbly down, not to his feet, but to HIS feet.

2. Humbly and lovingly PRAY!

For yourself:
Coming to terms that both of you are mere mortals with the same tendency to sin, indeed, is a good reason to pray for forgiveness of your pride and self righteousnesses, to pray that you have the strength to accept him JUST as he is and love him as he is, to pray for wisdom, strength and patience to know how and when to communicate this matter.

Mind you, sometimes the how outweighs the what.

Imagine kissing him on the cheek and graciously telling him your concerns on the matter. Imagine again you screaming from the toilet to tell him the same thing. It is a WORLD of a difference in the how, and it produces a WORLD of a difference in the outcome.

Which do you think is more tactful and fruitful?

Reminds me of 1 Peter 4:11 If you speak,you should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If you serve, you should do so with strength God provides..."

For him:
All the more you need to pray for him. Pray that if he is need of change that God will speak to him, open his heart and stir in him the desire to change; pray that God will teach him His way- that includes teaching him to more sensitive to you, learn to be aware and appreciate your service to him more; pray that he will learn to express his appreciation to you in ways you can understand; and pray and trust that he is in God's hand, and so are you, the both of you! So even if you feel that you are doing him a favor - you will be happier doing it because you know he appreciates you.

3. Changing and covering.
Yes, so change your mindset and attitude- tho it might seem unchanged in daily life( He still leaves his clothes on the floor etc.), that change of attitude and perspective makes ALL the difference. Put away that attitude of judgement and prideful thinking that it is your job to change him- that's God's job; Put away that attitude of resentment and retaliation to tear him down, provoke him and insult him- that's Satan's job. Instead, put on that attitude of graciousness, to encourage, to help, to protect, to cover.

Yes, COVER for each other. You are a team, team mates working on the same project- your relationship. And to achieve the goal ( having a good relatinship with each other) you've got to work together as a team, not point out who's to blame, or who's not doing enough! No doubt we will still get angry sometimes and irritated ( We are not wonder women as well!), but channel that away so instead of exposing each other's "weaknesses", cover for one another's weaknesses with each other's strengths.

I remember the time when I had my own irritating moments but before I let those feeling get to me, I paused and remember that I have my own funny habits too. Then I did a little eye roll, a little shake of the head and then chuckled to myself. Then instead of picking on him I covered it up for him with an attitude of graciousness. Then I later went over to him when he was not busy or not distracted with something else, gave him a little peck and mentioned about the incident and how funny it was and suggested him to try to remember what not to do the next time. He grinned guilty and he did try, but still failed. But reinforcing it lovingly not only helped him to remember what I said, but it also gave him the motivation to be conscious and considerate of how I felt about it. And lo and behold, he has not been doing it. Funny, because just the other day I caught myself doing the same thing and all the more it was a reminder to myself to be gracious just as you want him to be gracious to you! Nut I'm ready to embrace for it. I'm pretty sure that after a while the both of us will forget and resume, so he'd have to perhaps continue to catch himself doing it and I'd have to continue to remind myself not to nag.

Mind you, it is a continuous learning process and we are bound to slip and fall. But it is not a sign to give up but to persevere ever more, keep getting up, and keep learning.

The small things in a relationship are usually the ones to tear the relationship apart silently. So do not think of it as nothing big and shove it under the carpet. Deal with it while it's just a speck of dust and not when it has been accumulated into a massive pile of permanent eyesore!

Sure you may argue, why does it have to be us women who has to do the changing, and sucking up his nonsense. He should be the one to do something about himself too! Agreed! But men have their own battles to fight- they have to learn how to be men, real men! Somehow the world is forcing them to either be women, a scaredy-cat, or a jerk. But let's leave that to them. We need to deal with ourselves.

We may also argue that why do we have to take so much effort to change? Shouldn't the other person accept me for WHO I am? If I nag, that's me, that's who I am! Take it or leave it! Well, isn't that being a little bit inconsiderate and selfish? If that's your case, then you should not expect him to change as well!

Love is not selfish. And we have to differentiate the difference between YOU and YOU! Indeed, you should not change who you are- your personality ( introvert, extrovert;logical, intuitive;structured, flexible). But, you can change your behavior and habits ( short tempered, inconsiderate, quick to speak without thinking). So don't get confuse of the two.

Our job, well, we need to relearn how to be women- not women of this world. Nobody said it was easy being a women, especially in this world where women need to become like men to survive and women want and need to stand on their own two feet ( even if it means pushing down everyone else). Don't let the world take away that beauty of being a women, that beauty that every women was meant to be.

" I tell you things to save you from the suffering; learning from other's mistakes are sometimes better than making your own." -Daddy.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Trippin' , Fallin' and Skippin'

On hind sight, God knew what He was doing when He put us through so much "trouble".

If everything went smoothly, we wouldn't know how to appreciate the blessings He has provided for us thereafter.

And He puts us through difficult times to strengthen our faith, and teach us lessons that He wants us to learn.

Be it to learn patience, or to learn to rely on Him and trust Him, or to remind us that He is in control...His way and His timing is perfect.

And he goes before us and with us to work things out even before we know it was going to happen, and then he slowly takes us through it all step by step.

And most of all, He definitely tests us to our limits, like our VERY wits! And just when we had enough, and were so so tired of it all...He knew it was our last straw.

And After that, He encourages us by giving us more than we can ever imagine.

The Rainbow after the Storm

So you're walking with your friend down the street,
To the mall! It's going to be a great feat!
What a wonderful day today,
Who needs an umbrella anyway.
You thought nothing could go wrong at all,
But then you heard the thunder call.
You look up to the darken sky,
"Oh dear! Looks like a storm is coming by."

You hope and pray that it will go away,
So it won't destroy your perfect day.
But no, with every glance up at the sky,
One more dark cloud hovered by.
Still, you hoped and prayed, ever harder, ever still,
That the storm won't be strong-willed.

You open your eyes with a little peek,
Hoping that God had done a miracle.
But rather than a ray of light,
A drop of rain falls in your eyes.
Before you know it you're running for cover,
As the rain keeps pouring down harder.

You find a shelter, a little hut.
Tho your feet are still getting wetter.
"Better than nothing," you said with a mutter.
The space was small, and cluttered with some "junk"
Probably left here by some punk.
Nonetheless you huddle together,
Keeping yourself warm by cuddling together.

You talk about hope among your dismay,
And say the sky looks promising although grey.
But without warning, and as if on cue,
Drops of water tickled down your back.
You jumped in shock and disbelief.
First the rain and now this? God what's with all these?

You grabbed a pail in what you thought was junk,
and was silent as you listened to the "Tink" and "Thunk".
Junk they were not,
For someone had placed them there with much thought.
You looked up at God and had a second thought.
And thanked Him for providing that "pot".


NOW cold and wet, you looked down with discouraged eyes,
and pled with God to be nice.
Finally, you said, as the puddles got clearer,
And the rain started to turn into a drizzle.
But the both of you just couldn't wait.

JUST couldn't wait to get there.

So you both dashed out not knowing that,
A speeding car you were going straight at.
So with one big Splash,
And another Swash,
There you have it, a walking "Slush".

Completely drenched and squeaky shoe-ed,
And only tissues for those Ah-chooes.
You walked on with heavy steps,
And a heavy heart that was singing Flats.
You can't take this anymore, you said.
You're at your limit and you will just wait.
But still you question: Why you, Why this?
God, no more. No more, Please.

A little bird chirped in your ears,
And flew up to the heavens above.
You look up and weakly smiled,
Could it be over,

Again, on cue, a rainbow glowed,
Right above where the sunshine flowed.
And flowers bud of spring-time's bloom.
The air so sweet and fresh and new.
You soaked in the beauty of it all,
And thanked God for instead of rushing to the mall-
He gave you time to be applauded,
Of how He works, and how He calls.
And how He teaches you in falls and all.

Would it be the same, you asked.
If it was sunny and no trials to pass.
You'd just walk by without knowing of,
God's hand, God's love, and God's faithfulness.

And now, after going through it all,
You have a GOOD reason to go to the mall.

And perhaps, the RIGHT reason.

by Tissuegirl

"Teach me your ways O Lord, that I may rely on Your faithfulness." Psalm 86:11

This journey is kinda like almost Trippin' ( and Fallin') to learn how to be Skippin' your way forward.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Road to Recovery

Hey there! Yea I know I haven't been writing for a while...I lot of things to write but its all in a mess LOL!

Anyway, what a traumatic start to the New Year.
It seems to me that I suffered from a mild depression and man, its been hard to recover from it.
Ever since I got sick right after Christmas, it was a down spiral. Never been so sick before that I couldn't do anything for a week! And in that week, it did do a lot of damage. Yea, I think I get depress when I fall sick.

Lost track of time, lost track of what's happening around, lost track of people.

Even when I recovered slightly and could go back to my normal schedule, I woke up everyday feeling so sad and gloomy, like as if I lost my purpose and direction in life. What happen to the simple things that made me happy... I didn't even need simple things to make me happy...I was more than happy to go about my day.

Day after day, so depressing, not only that, I was worrying my head off... and I couldn't get out of it, I tried not thinking about it, tried to be happy, tried to be "busy" with the usual things...but it seemed like the more I tried, the more it wasn't working!

I committed it to the Lord saying "Ok, after saying this prayer, everytime I start getting overwhelmed with how I feel, I will stop myself there and then and say "It's all in God's hands", don't worry."

But that was only one step. What was I going to do to "practically" get myself out of feeling so blue all the time?

I realized that the best way to stop thinking about how terrible one feels is to get people in your life! Share with them, pray with them and end by something fun together. Of course a part of me feels like I don't want to talk to people.

But that it precisely why one needs to do it!

And it is not same to just go out and talk to people you are not close with. You need people who understands you, that you know you can feel comfortable sharing with. It's really a crucial step to feel better! We need people, even if it just means being there and not talking! LOL.

WE need our girl friends! No doubt we can share with our other half...but it's different you know. Guys will just say " Ok, I hear you, now move on!".
Girls on the other hand, will FEEL WITH YOU and try to do something together with you to make you feel better.

Distracting oneself with "fun" is also the other extreme that does not really heal, it just postpones the feeling. It is good to talk to friends to not only share, but to have closure for yourself. Then only will having FUN be ending it on a positive note.

So as much as I felt antisocial and felt that I didn't want to stress my body or myself... I called my dear friend SQ to come over. And we had a good time just talking about it, praying for each other and just enjoying the simple company of a companion.

I also had another dear friend SL to come over to exercise together! We had a good time sgaring with each other, praying also, and then ending it with a endorphin filled "follow-the-dvd" dancing session.

I must say that these sessions did help me find closure with myself as well...and it was a start to recovery.

So, I do very much encourage all those who are feeling down, do get up and get people in your life. If you have friends you can share with, get them over and have a cozy coffee time together, heart to heart talk.

Friends and laughter ARE the best medicine. ( Yea, the stupid western medicine did not make me feel better.)

If you don't have a friend to share with...then THIS IS THE TIME and OPPORTUNITY to get close to a new friend, and you will never know, life will bring you a new friend!
There's if you need someone to talk to, talk to me! :)

So go against that feeling of " I can handle it myself, I can get better by myself" and get people in your life! Seriously, its' the best 1st decision you will make for yourself and for positive recovery!

It doesn't stop there. What about those times that one is alone? Can't have friends over ALL the time right? After having closure, get a schedule going. I am a creature of habit, so I found myself wanting to get back to a schedule I can go about, of course with "more" fun things in it to make EACH DAY positive. Have a daily dose of whatever brings out the adrenaline or endorphines in you. Exercise? Go for a dance class? Play an instrument? Call someone?

It is much easier to do something that makes our body and mind naturally happy ( bring out those happy hormones) rather than doing something to "distract" the mind and hence try to "discard" the emotion. Unless one is a very very strong willed and mentally tough person, doesn't work la. Guess its because I am such a mentally weak person (LOL!), my body has to help my mind and not the other way around.

So if your emotions is getting the better of you, perhaps you can try this as well. Body over mind, and not mind over matter. I think once the body gets into a habit, one's mind will also follow suit and before one realizes, we don't have to "think" about making ourselves happy.

WE must remember that we are dealing with an emotion that doesn't make sense and might not be accurate. So we need to handle the emotion and not let the emotion handle us!

But it is hard work. And I must say, I am still struggling to get on my feet again. But a day at a time, and slowly I know one day I will wake up and say " Hey! It's naturally to feel glad again!".

I wait for that day when I can truly enjoy sleeping again. And wake up feeling rested and with a smile on my face. ( Ya, after lying in bed sick for a week...I think I am kind of claustrophobic and I don't enjoy sleeping in my bed sad right. And didn't help when I didn't have an appetite to eat fro a, lost weight. CIS!)

You know I asked my sister if I was wasting my life away worrying about tomorrows and being depressed todays. She said something very meaningful. She said you are only wasting your life if you stop living for today.

So take a day at a time. A moment at a time! YOU CAN DO IT!