Wednesday, December 16, 2009

2. Why you guys so relax one?

Ok ok, so, I've been getting that ALOT! More often than none, the second line of that comment would be :" Most couples would be panicking by now about their big day. But you guys? Nothing to do ah?"

You know him la, he is very very "cool", calm and collected; and you know me, kononnya quite the "slumber-la" also. So if you both us together, jadi? = slumber-combo-couple lo.

BUT Slumber is NOT the equivalent to lazy. So it doesn't mean we didn't do anything. We actually gaotim quite a bit of stuff already, some stuffs just waiting for the right time to put things into action or do, some stuff pending for discussion etc etc etc. I guess what makes everything easier is because we are not that picky or particular about things so by not macro-managing everything to the "perfect-no-mistake-everything-I-ever-dreamt-of-wedding", it does help reduce the stress and unslumberness. We really do prefer a simple, sponateous-prone, enjoyable one. If mistakes happen, it doesn't really matter, more things to laugh about loh and it will definitely be a more memorable one.

And we have many wonderful friends to help out in each area, so that's definitely a big help. And there's nothing, really, to panic about. We have an evil team of chi muis and a "guy chi mui" to help us take down the guys one by one, a beautiful church to get married in, very wonderful and talented people helping us out in almost every aspect.

Oh btw, it is going to be a very very rojak english and mandarin service.

All these wedding mambo jumbo reminds me of two very contrasting weddings that I attended.

Wedding no.1.

So this couple decided to hire a wedding planner to gaotim everything for them. All they would have to do is listen to instructions, and do EXACTLY what she says. Every other tiny thing will be micro-managed by the planner. Easy peasy right? Super relaxing and enjoyable right? Going to be the perfect lovely wedding right? NOOOOOooooooo man. I tell you, I wasn't even the bride and I felt the unnecessary stress man. The planner even had a printed minute-to-minute time scheduled of the entire day ( I bet in her mind, it was a second-to-second time schedule) It looked something like this:

6.30am Bride wakes up (* planner say MUST woh. Must control what time people wake up meh. I'm sure the bride is smart enough to know when she wants to wake up.)
7.30 Groom wakes up (* need to say meh...)
8.30am Heng Dai's -MUST arrive. You, the best man, you better make sure he gets here on time ( * Late 5 minutes also won't die what)
8.45am Get the bride- you only have 20 minutes to get the bride, no more no less (* where got fun!)
9.00am Leave for wedding ceremony
9.30am Wedding ceremony
( then one whole long detailed instructions to all those involved)
7.00pm Dinner starts
7.30pm ( one whole long DETAILED long instructions AGAIN)

What particularly annoyed me was when the planner was so picky about everything to the extreme, she even had to tell the bride WHAT ANGLE to stand when she walks. TOO MUCH. Walking also must be "PERFECT" woh. * Smacks head* And it was really a suffocating experience for the helpers as well. During the dinner right, the Mcee went out like 30 seconds too early also got scolded woh. The planner came and said next time you cannot do that, you must wait till the "perfect" moment to come out. Is there a perfect moment? I didn't see it in the DETAILED instructions also? The Mcee went out according to schedule what, how is he suppsoe to know when the planner's perfect timing is? Hmmm TOO MUCH. Oh yea, it was a "perfect" wedding, no mistakes, no flaws, everyone had that super smile and super angle position. TOO MUCH.

THE HORROR!That's not the kind of wedding we want. I guess it is such a terrible thing for us because
1. we are not exactly the most on time people la. So suffocating us with precise timing ain't going to work for us,
2. We hate people breathing down our necks and controlling every single little thing! Managing and controlling are 2 very different things,
3. So what if people make mistakes, it doesn't make one's wedding a horrible one right?

Wedding no. 2.

Arrived at the church and saw the bride waiting outside to go in. She was moving around, walking here and there, not because she was nervous but she was thanking people for coming and thanking people for their compliments. She looked so carefree and happy. Sweet! They walked in to "oh happy day". Another carefree song. Then when worship started, the to-be-weds sitting in front was enjoying themselves praising God and swaying to the music. Wow this is really the first time I've seen such a carefree, bubbly, natural, happy couple ( I mean it shows from the inside! Of course most couples look happy but can see the stress, unnaturalness and irritable-ness on their faces). Even the ceremony was carefree. The Mcee made plenty of jokes, the groom's father came out at the wrong time(that was so cute.) and everyone just laughed about it. Dinner time was carefree as well. The groom even sang and danced with the bride. So sweet.

This is my inspiration. No need all that super uptight perfect to the dot I'm going to kill you if its not the way I want it to be wedding. Just a sweet and simple enjoyable carefree one with plenty of room for heartfelt laughter, bloopers and just being happy from the inside out!

Monday, December 7, 2009

1. God is funny

Time is passing pretty fast huh. 5 more months to go to a entirely new phase in life. Well, in light of "getting ready" for it, 3 things has been popping up quite often.

1. God is funny ( in an absolutely wonderful way! *not like the comic below)

2. I've been getting this a lot: "you guys are the most relaxed couple I've seen"

3. I've been asked this many times too: "are you ready ah?"

1. Firstly, why is God funny?

Just the other day, before we started counseling, we were going for one of our walks are talking, having an in depth discussion about who we should ask to do counseling for us. I must say, we were being quite THE choosy la. "This one cannot la...not our type; and that one quite ok also but might not be so suitable; twat one possible what hor what don't know if it's in his jobscope. Hmmm...let's ask twat one first, then that one 2nd, but THIS one definitely we will ask last la"

But nooooo... guess what? I bet God was giggling to himself because...

The VERY NEXT DAY, THIS one approached us quite suddenly and asked us when we are free to start counselling and say that although THAT one would love to do it but they might not be very free to do it. ( and TWAT one is completely out of the question cause he doesn't do in the first place).

We were quite taken aback. I mean, what are the chances of everything being solved in like, what, 1 minute; and we took like maybe out WHOLE walk to talk about it. And the very one that we decided not to ask, ASKED us.

We looked at each other, smiling, our hearts giggling and our eyes were saying to each other
" Very funny God, You knew this would happen right...God, You are funny."

But looking back, we wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Our counselors are really the best there is. And they really are the best- for us.

Similarly, just the other day, we were talking about being hospitable to other people and we both agreed that we are really not good at it and would really like to learn to be more hospitable to others next time when we have a place of our own.

AGAIN, Lo and Behold, the VERY NEXT DAY, our counselor SUDDENLY brought up the issue of hospitality. I couldn't help but laugh out loud, till the counselor asked if I wanted to say something. What are the chances la, the subject is not even in the syllabus that we are going through. I guess God opened our hearts to talk about it and also prompted our counselor to bring it up, in order to further teach us the very essence of being hospitable.

Interestingly enough, when we planned to have our ceremony in HKMCKL church in town, one of the rules of the church is that the pastor of that church would have to register us. And guess what we just found out? No one in our church can register us because the gov has taken the back the license. Talk about perfect timing. God even Gaotim that for us even before we had the chance to worry about who can register us. Hehe.

God really does know what is best for us and is faithful to provide in everything, even when we don't know what we need, or don't know it YET. In spite of us trying to take matters into our own hands, over and over again God has proven that He is in control, He sees the bigger picture, and in His prefect timing He will show us the way and lead us.

Just like the verse in Proverbs 16: 9 The mind of man plans his ways, but God directs his steps.

I'll get to no.2 and no.3 another day.
As well as a sneak peak into the book of "building lasting relationships". It is really good for people who are in a relationship, helpful and a guaranteed healthy relationship if both are willing to put it into practice.