Kids Say the Darnest Things!

Got these from a forwarded mail my mom sent to me.

What Kids Say about the Ocean:

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.(Kelly, age 6 )

Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (age 7)

Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson She's not my friend any more. (Kyie,age 6)

A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.(Billy, age 8)

My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men, a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7 )

Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.. (Julie, age 7)

The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

My dad was a sailor on the ocean and knows all about the ocean.What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

I Believe...

Here's a poem I read some where.

I Believe...

That just because two people argue,

It doesn't mean they don't love each other.

And just because they don't argue,

It doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe ...

That we don't have to change friends if

We understand that friends change.

I Believe ...

That no matter how good a friend is,

s/he is going to hurt you every once in a while

and you must forgive her/him for that.

I Believe ...

That true friendship continues to grow,

even over the longest distance.

Same goes for true love.

I Believe ...

That you can do something in an instant

That will give you heartache for life.

I Believe ...

That it's taking me a long time

To become the person I want to be.

I Believe ...

That you should always leave loved ones with

Loving words. It may be the last time you see

them.

I Believe ...

That you can keep going long after you think

you can't.

I Believe ...

That we are responsible for what

We do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe ...

That either you control your attitude or it

controls you.

I Believe ...

That heroes are the people who do what has to

be done when it needs to be done, regardless

of the consequences.

I Believe ...

That my best friend and I can do anything or

nothing and have the best time.

I Believe ...

That sometimes the people you expect to kick

you when you're down will be the ones to help

you get back up.

I Believe ...

That sometimes when I'm angry

I have the right to be angry,

But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe ...

That maturity has more to do with what types

of experiences you've had

And what you've learned from them and less to

do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe ...

That it isn't always enough,

to be forgiven by others.

Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive

yourself.

I Believe ...

That no matter how bad your heart is broken,

the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe ...

That our background and circumstances

may have influenced who we are,

But, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe ...

That you shouldn't be so eager to find

out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I Believe ...

Two people can look at the exact same

Thing and see something totally different.

I Believe ...

That your life can be changed in a matter of

Hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe ...

That even when you think you have no more to

give,

When a friend cries out to you -

you will find the strength to help.

I Believe ...

That credentials on the wall

do not make you a decent human being.

The happiest of people don't necessarily

have the best of everything;

They just make the most of everything they

have.

Habits- the Bad Bits

You know how they say "love is blind"? Well, to a certain extent: It is true- no matter how much you want to deny. But I would correct it to say "love is oblivious, rather than blind". Obviously, most of us know what we are getting ourselves into, we see and have a glimpse of what the other person is like ( some things we like, some things we don't.), but at that point in time, that super feeling of loooove covers and overpowers the reality of love, and a glimpse at a distance is a lot different from living in it.

Yea you get where I'm going. What happens when that feeling fades ( they say that feeling of oblivious love only last for about 2 or 3 years on average before reality sets in ) and you begin to see things that you didn't think was such a big deal before, or you thought you had no problem living with em; but you realize that you are starting to get irritated by em. Em, you ask? Yes, Em! Those little habits of your other half.

Isn't it ever so common and often that: (Examples are observed from the general behavior of men and women since forever and not directed to anyone in particular)

You walk, and oppss, you trip over his clothes left on the floor. Or how about this: he keeps wetting the toilet seat, and never puts it down. Oh oh and what about him leaving his newspapers everywhere. At first it doesn't really bother you. But still, you tell yourself that its ok and he will listen if you tell him. So Yea, you tell him once. It seems to have fallen on deaf ears. You go ahead and pick up after him. By this time its already starting to get to you a tiny little bit. So you tell him again. He does it ( or doesn't do it) once and forgets the times after that. So you TELL him again. And AGAIN. AND AGAIN. And by now you are beginning to run of patience and you have a twitched in your face every time you see it happen again!

Most of us, while facing these kind of situations, usually walk down either path: the Stink-bomb path or the Silent-Killer path.

The Stink-bomb

As you can imagine, in her frustration bursts out in anger, starts to nag, picks on everything - and often forces the other half running for cover, far far away, holding his nose( in this case, his ears)!

Words like these are ever so predictable:

"What do you think I am? Your maid ah? Why do I have to keep picking up after you? I told you to so many times not to..."

or

" I come back so tired and I still have to clean up and nag you... I'm so fed up! I'm tired of always being your servant..."

or

"How many times do i have to tell you..."

or

"Is it so hard just to put up the toilet seat? Use your common sense!"

Not only does the Stink-bomb NOT respect the other significant half, but she also exerts her pride, self righteousness, and self pity. And the more she does it, the more she pushes him away from her, and the more he retaliates, and often without realizing it until it's too late and she wakes up one day to find that he is present in person but absent in heart. How sad for a relationship to be in that state!

The Silent-Killer

What about the Silent-killer? The Silent-killer is quite the opposite, but yet just as deadly. She doesn't say anything even though inside she is frustrated to keep the "peace".. She rather keeps quiet and thinks by doing that it is better to do that than start a fight. She thinks she is doing him a favour by not nagging him. But is she, really? Quite the contrary actually. By doing that, she is allowing him to be as ignorant and insensitive as he already is ( Yea, you know, guys can be quite insensitive sometimes and they don't notice the "love and service" we think we obviously show) and she is allowing herself to wallow up and grow in her sorrow, self-pity, frustration, anger, hostility, grudge and bitterness. Sure, she argues that she can keep it inside, but tell me, how long can she hang on before the growing bitterness and frustration leaks out and fills the room with silent poison and eventually kills the relationship? It slowly contaminates the relationship and causes both to drift apart (And he didn't even know what he did wrong! ).

Figured out which category you are? I personally feel that I have a tendency to be the Silent-killer. I believe that being women, all of us has the tendency to to be either one - we can't help it, after all we are the off springs of the Fallen Eve. It's just the matter of intensity and extremity and how we deal and overcome these tendencies.

So where do we go from here? Well, let's take it a step at a time:

1. Realization and Acceptance

First of all, you have to come to a realization and acceptance that he is who he is, and must come to a realization and acceptance that he MAY NEVER change. Really, no matter how many times you silently pick up after him, or tell him, nag him, do the silent treatment, maybe even scream at him...nope it's not going to work and he may never realize your kind, noble efforts. Also, you must accept that it is NOT our job to change him; you CAN'T change him and you CANNOT expect him to change.

Accept that he is JUST A MAN, (not god, not a hero, not superman or some supernatural being that can read your mind and emotions), but he is trying to love you the best he can ( Tho it might be different from how you would like him to love you- after all, they are not women). He is just a mortal, just like us. And all of us had fallen short of His glory.

Every time you have the urge to start nagging him, stop and think about this: Does he pick on you? He doesn't. Is it because you are flawless and have no faults? Is it because you are better than him?

Boy oh boy, that's a far cry. No, He doesn't because he accepts you as you are, even tho you randomly have emotional breakdowns or explode during PMSes (He will be going" What in the world is going on? I have no idea what's there to be so emotional or upset about.), even tho you are a clean freak, or when you have a uncontrollable habit to shop till you drop. ( If he does pick on you too then he needs to read this too!) Believe me, these habits of ours seem normal to us, (our women world) but to them it is a very strange, illogical and complicated world.

Have you ever thought that the habits that you have might be irritating to him as well? So just as he accepts that THAT is just you, you should also soften your heart and accept that THAT is just him. So this reflection of yourself should lead you to come humbly down, not to his feet, but to HIS feet.

2. Humbly and lovingly PRAY!

For yourself:

Coming to terms that both of you are mere mortals with the same tendency to sin, indeed, is a good reason to pray for forgiveness of your pride and self righteousnesses, to pray that you have the strength to accept him JUST as he is and love him as he is, to pray for wisdom, strength and patience to know how and when to communicate this matter.

Mind you, sometimes the how outweighs the what.

Imagine kissing him on the cheek and graciously telling him your concerns on the matter. Imagine again you screaming from the toilet to tell him the same thing. It is a WORLD of a difference in the how, and it produces a WORLD of a difference in the outcome.

Which do you think is more tactful and fruitful?

Reminds me of 1 Peter 4:11 If you speak,you should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If you serve, you should do so with strength God provides..."

For him:

All the more you need to pray for him. Pray that if he is need of change that God will speak to him, open his heart and stir in him the desire to change; pray that God will teach him His way- that includes teaching him to more sensitive to you, learn to be aware and appreciate your service to him more; pray that he will learn to express his appreciation to you in ways you can understand; and pray and trust that he is in God's hand, and so are you, the both of you! So even if you feel that you are doing him a favor - you will be happier doing it because you know he appreciates you.

3. Changing and covering.

Yes, so change your mindset and attitude- tho it might seem unchanged in daily life( He still leaves his clothes on the floor etc.), that change of attitude and perspective makes ALL the difference. Put away that attitude of judgement and prideful thinking that it is your job to change him- that's God's job; Put away that attitude of resentment and retaliation to tear him down, provoke him and insult him- that's Satan's job. Instead, put on that attitude of graciousness, to encourage, to help, to protect, to cover.

Yes, COVER for each other. You are a team, team mates working on the same project- your relationship. And to achieve the goal ( having a good relatinship with each other) you've got to work together as a team, not point out who's to blame, or who's not doing enough! No doubt we will still get angry sometimes and irritated ( We are not wonder women as well!), but channel that away so instead of exposing each other's "weaknesses", cover for one another's weaknesses with each other's strengths.

I remember the time when I had my own irritating moments but before I let those feeling get to me, I paused and remember that I have my own funny habits too. Then I did a little eye roll, a little shake of the head and then chuckled to myself. Then instead of picking on him I covered it up for him with an attitude of graciousness. Then I later went over to him when he was not busy or not distracted with something else, gave him a little peck and mentioned about the incident and how funny it was and suggested him to try to remember what not to do the next time. He grinned guilty and he did try, but still failed. But reinforcing it lovingly not only helped him to remember what I said, but it also gave him the motivation to be conscious and considerate of how I felt about it. And lo and behold, he has not been doing it. Funny, because just the other day I caught myself doing the same thing and all the more it was a reminder to myself to be gracious just as you want him to be gracious to you! Nut I'm ready to embrace for it. I'm pretty sure that after a while the both of us will forget and resume, so he'd have to perhaps continue to catch himself doing it and I'd have to continue to remind myself not to nag.

Mind you, it is a continuous learning process and we are bound to slip and fall. But it is not a sign to give up but to persevere ever more, keep getting up, and keep learning.

The small things in a relationship are usually the ones to tear the relationship apart silently. So do not think of it as nothing big and shove it under the carpet. Deal with it while it's just a speck of dust and not when it has been accumulated into a massive pile of permanent eyesore!

Sure you may argue, why does it have to be us women who has to do the changing, and sucking up his nonsense. He should be the one to do something about himself too! Agreed! But men have their own battles to fight- they have to learn how to be men, real men! Somehow the world is forcing them to either be women, a scaredy-cat, or a jerk. But let's leave that to them. We need to deal with ourselves.

We may also argue that why do we have to take so much effort to change? Shouldn't the other person accept me for WHO I am? If I nag, that's me, that's who I am! Take it or leave it! Well, isn't that being a little bit inconsiderate and selfish? If that's your case, then you should not expect him to change as well!

Love is not selfish. And we have to differentiate the difference between YOU and YOU! Indeed, you should not change who you are- your personality ( introvert, extrovert;logical, intuitive;structured, flexible). But, you can change your behavior and habits ( short tempered, inconsiderate, quick to speak without thinking). So don't get confuse of the two.

Our job, well, we need to relearn how to be women- not women of this world. Nobody said it was easy being a women, especially in this world where women need to become like men to survive and women want and need to stand on their own two feet ( even if it means pushing down everyone else). Don't let the world take away that beauty of being a women, that beauty that every women was meant to be.

" I tell you things to save you from the suffering; learning from other's mistakes are sometimes better than making your own." -Daddy.

Trippin' , Fallin' and Skippin'

On hind sight, God knew what He was doing when He put us through so much "trouble".

If everything went smoothly, we wouldn't know how to appreciate the blessings He has provided for us thereafter.

And He puts us through difficult times to strengthen our faith, and teach us lessons that He wants us to learn.

Be it to learn patience, or to learn to rely on Him and trust Him, or to remind us that He is in control...His way and His timing is perfect.

And he goes before us and with us to work things out even before we know it was going to happen, and then he slowly takes us through it all step by step.

And most of all, He definitely tests us to our limits, like our VERY wits! And just when we had enough, and were so so tired of it all...He knew it was our last straw.

And After that, He encourages us by giving us more than we can ever imagine.

The Rainbow after the Storm

So you're walking with your friend down the street,

To the mall! It's going to be a great feat!

What a wonderful day today,

Who needs an umbrella anyway.

You thought nothing could go wrong at all,

But then you heard the thunder call.

You look up to the darken sky,

"Oh dear! Looks like a storm is coming by."

You hope and pray that it will go away,

So it won't destroy your perfect day.

But no, with every glance up at the sky,

One more dark cloud hovered by.

Still, you hoped and prayed, ever harder, ever still,

That the storm won't be strong-willed.

You open your eyes with a little peek,

Hoping that God had done a miracle.

But rather than a ray of light,

A drop of rain falls in your eyes.

Before you know it you're running for cover,

As the rain keeps pouring down harder.

You find a shelter, a little hut.

Tho your feet are still getting wetter.

"Better than nothing," you said with a mutter.

The space was small, and cluttered with some "junk"

Probably left here by some punk.

Nonetheless you huddle together,

Keeping yourself warm by cuddling together.

You talk about hope among your dismay,

And say the sky looks promising although grey.

But without warning, and as if on cue,

Drops of water tickled down your back.

You jumped in shock and disbelief.

First the rain and now this? God what's with all these?

You grabbed a pail in what you thought was junk,

and was silent as you listened to the "Tink" and "Thunk".

Junk they were not,

For someone had placed them there with much thought.

You looked up at God and had a second thought.

And thanked Him for providing that "pot".

But STILL.

NOW cold and wet, you looked down with discouraged eyes,

and pled with God to be nice.

Finally, you said, as the puddles got clearer,

And the rain started to turn into a drizzle.

But the both of you just couldn't wait.

JUST couldn't wait to get there.

So you both dashed out not knowing that,

A speeding car you were going straight at.

So with one big Splash,

And another Swash,

There you have it, a walking "Slush".

Completely drenched and squeaky shoe-ed,

And only tissues for those Ah-chooes.

You walked on with heavy steps,

And a heavy heart that was singing Flats.

You can't take this anymore, you said.

You're at your limit and you will just wait.

But still you question: Why you, Why this?

God, no more. No more, Please.

A little bird chirped in your ears,

And flew up to the heavens above.

You look up and weakly smiled,

Could it be over,

Finally?

Again, on cue, a rainbow glowed,

Right above where the sunshine flowed.

And flowers bud of spring-time's bloom.

The air so sweet and fresh and new.

You soaked in the beauty of it all,

And thanked God for instead of rushing to the mall-

He gave you time to be applauded,

Of how He works, and how He calls.

And how He teaches you in falls and all.

Would it be the same, you asked.

If it was sunny and no trials to pass.

You'd just walk by without knowing of,

God's hand, God's love, and God's faithfulness.

And now, after going through it all,

You have a GOOD reason to go to the mall.

And perhaps, the RIGHT reason.

by Tissuegirl

"Teach me your ways O Lord, that I may rely on Your faithfulness." Psalm 86:11

So,

This journey is kinda like almost Trippin' ( and Fallin') to learn how to be Skippin' your way forward.

Road to Recovery

Hey there! Yea I know I haven't been writing for a while...I lot of things to write but its all in a mess LOL!

Anyway, what a traumatic start to the New Year.

It seems to me that I suffered from a mild depression and man, its been hard to recover from it.

Ever since I got sick right after Christmas, it was a down spiral. Never been so sick before that I couldn't do anything for a week! And in that week, it did do a lot of damage. Yea, I think I get depress when I fall sick.

Lost track of time, lost track of what's happening around, lost track of people.

Even when I recovered slightly and could go back to my normal schedule, I woke up everyday feeling so sad and gloomy, like as if I lost my purpose and direction in life. What happen to the simple things that made me happy... I didn't even need simple things to make me happy...I was more than happy to go about my day.

Day after day, so depressing, not only that, I was worrying my head off... and I couldn't get out of it, I tried not thinking about it, tried to be happy, tried to be "busy" with the usual things...but it seemed like the more I tried, the more it wasn't working!

I committed it to the Lord saying "Ok, after saying this prayer, everytime I start getting overwhelmed with how I feel, I will stop myself there and then and say "It's all in God's hands", don't worry."

But that was only one step. What was I going to do to "practically" get myself out of feeling so blue all the time?

I realized that the best way to stop thinking about how terrible one feels is to get people in your life! Share with them, pray with them and end by something fun together. Of course a part of me feels like I don't want to talk to people.

But that it precisely why one needs to do it!

And it is not same to just go out and talk to people you are not close with. You need people who understands you, that you know you can feel comfortable sharing with. It's really a crucial step to feel better! We need people, even if it just means being there and not talking! LOL.

WE need our girl friends! No doubt we can share with our other half...but it's different you know. Guys will just say " Ok, I hear you, now move on!".

Girls on the other hand, will FEEL WITH YOU and try to do something together with you to make you feel better.

Distracting oneself with "fun" is also the other extreme that does not really heal, it just postpones the feeling. It is good to talk to friends to not only share, but to have closure for yourself. Then only will having FUN be ending it on a positive note.

So as much as I felt antisocial and felt that I didn't want to stress my body or myself... I called my dear friend SQ to come over. And we had a good time just talking about it, praying for each other and just enjoying the simple company of a companion.

I also had another dear friend SL to come over to exercise together! We had a good time sgaring with each other, praying also, and then ending it with a endorphin filled "follow-the-dvd" dancing session.

I must say that these sessions did help me find closure with myself as well...and it was a start to recovery.

So, I do very much encourage all those who are feeling down, do get up and get people in your life. If you have friends you can share with, get them over and have a cozy coffee time together, heart to heart talk.

Friends and laughter ARE the best medicine. ( Yea, the stupid western medicine did not make me feel better.)

If you don't have a friend to share with...then THIS IS THE TIME and OPPORTUNITY to get close to a new friend, and you will never know, life will bring you a new friend!

There's me...so if you need someone to talk to, talk to me! :)

So go against that feeling of " I can handle it myself, I can get better by myself" and get people in your life! Seriously, its' the best 1st decision you will make for yourself and for positive recovery!

It doesn't stop there. What about those times that one is alone? Can't have friends over ALL the time right? After having closure, get a schedule going. I am a creature of habit, so I found myself wanting to get back to a schedule I can go about, of course with "more" fun things in it to make EACH DAY positive. Have a daily dose of whatever brings out the adrenaline or endorphines in you. Exercise? Go for a dance class? Play an instrument? Call someone?

It is much easier to do something that makes our body and mind naturally happy ( bring out those happy hormones) rather than doing something to "distract" the mind and hence try to "discard" the emotion. Unless one is a very very strong willed and mentally tough person, doesn't work la. Guess its because I am such a mentally weak person (LOL!), my body has to help my mind and not the other way around.

So if your emotions is getting the better of you, perhaps you can try this as well. Body over mind, and not mind over matter. I think once the body gets into a habit, one's mind will also follow suit and before one realizes, we don't have to "think" about making ourselves happy.

WE must remember that we are dealing with an emotion that doesn't make sense and might not be accurate. So we need to handle the emotion and not let the emotion handle us!

But it is hard work. And I must say, I am still struggling to get on my feet again. But a day at a time, and slowly I know one day I will wake up and say " Hey! It's naturally to feel glad again!".

I wait for that day when I can truly enjoy sleeping again. And wake up feeling rested and with a smile on my face. ( Ya, after lying in bed sick for a week...I think I am kind of claustrophobic and I don't enjoy sleeping in my bed anymore...so sad right. And didn't help when I didn't have an appetite to eat fro a week...man, lost weight. CIS!)

You know I asked my sister if I was wasting my life away worrying about tomorrows and being depressed todays. She said something very meaningful. She said you are only wasting your life if you stop living for today.

So take a day at a time. A moment at a time! YOU CAN DO IT!

* Warrior call* YEEEEAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!

A Toast,I mean Post, to those that come in two

I wish I had someone,
Who'd shower me with words I long to hear,
and melt my heart away each time.

I wish I had someone,
Who loves me and treats me like I am-
The most beautiful girl in the world.

I wish I had someone,
Who believes in me,
In all my dreams and hopes.
And will never laugh at me,
Wishing on that wishing star.

I wish I had someone,
Who'd share the same passion,
The same enthusiasm,
For the things I love,
For things I do,
For things I enjoy!

But sadly, no.
Woe is me.

He doesn't shower me with those sweet words I want to hear.
He doesn't make me feel beautiful.
Woe is me.
He doesn't understand me,
but laughs at me, at my "childish" dreams.
Woe is me.
Why did I choose him?
Isn't he the right one for me?

But a still small voice whispers to my heart:

My dear child,
You know very well what you want,
your ideals, your expectations,
and everything you think he should be.
But why are you looking at the other side of the mountain,
When all you really need is in your own backyard?

Look deeper and you'll see-

You do, you have someone,
Who showers you with words you NEED to hear,
not fleeting words of flattery.
You do, you have someone,
Who makes your heart grow in love not melt away.

You do, you have someone,
Who loves you more-
than the most beautiful girl in the world.

You do, you have someone,
Who cuddles your dreams,
and holds your hopes.
And laughs at you,
Telling you that the star you're wishing on is not a star.
It's a planet.
Then he kisses you and says :
"You don't need to wish on a star. God hears your heart's desire."

You do, you have someone,
Who takes more than a bite at your share of passion,
Smiles at your enthusiasm,
And says how you have coloured his life so.
And then He offers you to share his slice too,
Of the things he loves,
Of the things he does,
And of the things he enjoys!

~~~

To my friends,
Often times we feel like that.
And it makes us feel insecure, doubtful, and frustrated.
If he ain't treating me the way he should,
or it ain't the way I want it to go or be,
We question if it is worth holding on.

But often times, it is not the other person that is failing you.

The most valued advise my dad gave me before he gave me away is this:
"Put down your expectations. For if you have them, you will be disappointment.
Big time."

If you expect him to understand you, you will be disappointed.
If you expect him to be there for you, you will be disappointed.
If you expect him to be like you, you will be disappointed.
If you expect him to reciprocate all the love and sacrifices you have given him,
you WILL be disappointed.

Throw away your expectations,
Accept that he can't understand you,
and you will be surprised.

Accept that he is just a man not a walking punching bag,
and you will be surprised.

Accept that he is not you,
and you will be surprised.

Accept that love is UNCONDITIONAL,
and you will be surprised.

(I am not going to spoil your surprise, else it won't be a surprise.)

Hey, but you think your expectations are valid.
Even if there are...
THROW EM AWAY!
And you will be surprised how unexpected surprises will come your way.

I've learnt them and they are true.
And now I'm telling you.
Take it, and you'll be thankful,
cause this is one of the most valuable advise you will take with you,
on your journey of two.

So when you choose the one you love,
choose em with all your heart,
and love the one you choose,
with all your arrows to the ground.

Where babies come from

This is so cute.
How a kid thinks of where babies come from.

IroniCITY

So, we had to drive 2 separate cars to Klang for the weekend.
I drove his City, following behind as he drove his bro's Proton.
And boy was it an ironiCITY drive.

Upon reaching our destination I ask him,
"Why you drive so slow one...".

"What do you mean I was driving slow..you were the slow one...I was waiting for you!"

"Really? But I was waiting for you!"

WE laughed when we found out what was going on throughout the whole journey.

The following conversations were monologues in the separate cars at the same span of time.

City Driver:
Hmmm is it just me or is he driving like extra slow today?

Proton Driver: Walau, why she follow so slow behind one.

City:
Come on come on....Faster la.

Proton: Is she scared or what driving my car? Not use to it? Cannot be waht, my car so powerful. Why is she driving so slow?

City:
Why are you driving on the slowest lane...whyyyyyy......Don't you know that I drive pretty fast for a girl...
Maybe he wants to turn left soon.
Patience, patience.

Proton: God, she is like driving 4 cars apart! Maybe she really is scared. Patience, Patience...I'll wait for her to drive closer.

City:
This ride is going to take like 2 hours!
I can go to Ipoh already!!!!!!
HAHA, look he is sticking out his hand to pull up the antennae...
Nevermind, nevermind...just follow patiently...
Turn the music louder.

Proton: This is going to be one long ride. Better on the radio ( Sticks out hand and pulls up antennae).

City:
God, I so feel like overtaking you now.
Maybe I should go to the fast lane and honk you so you will go to the fast lane.
arrgghhhhh...Nevermind, just follow...soon soon.

Proton: I so need to pee! I better turn off the aircon. Reaching soon reaching soon.

City:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...Why you stay behind the lorry!
There are no cars in the fast lane...
Go la.. go la..I beg of you.
I cannot tahan already...I need to drive fasterrrrrrr.

Proton: Man, even when not on the highway she drives at such a safe distance. Why isn't she catching up.

So funny I tell you! When we told each other what was on our minds we were blown to bits with ironical-laughter.

Turns out that I, well, I guess out of habit, drove at a constant safe distance to prevent any emergency braking and thought that was normal; and he hasn't come across anyone who drives at that distance while following.

So there was a mis-communication and we were both waiting for each other.

Actually, we had a similar incident while we were driving 2 separate cars to the car workshop a few days back. I was meaning to tell him to drive faster the next time, especially on our next trip...but...it slipped my mind.

He on the other hand wanted to tell me to drive faster but hesitated cause he thought it might hurt my feelings as people have the right to drive as slow as they want, so he refrained from telling me.

HENCE...the AMAZING trip to Klang.

LOL.

At least we didn't kill each other,
we weren't sensitive about it and didn't' take it personally,
but talked about it jokingly without any accusations.
Irritated at first no doubt, but filled with laughter thereafter.

The irony.

Another memory to add to our collection of adventures.



The moral of the story-

Every adventure is a new discovery of each other.
Let it not tear each other down,
Let it not be a "sensitive" taboo,
but instead,
Let it be a time of mutual respectful communication,
Let it be a time of laughter of the colours that life brings,
Let it be one of new insight, new understanding,
and above all,
a newfound reason to love each other.

Docked & Anchored

Voyage of the Bridey is finally over! Phew, that was a long journey, sailing.

Now, my ship has finally docked and i can throw down the anchor at island ( ok, cliche, but...) "Paradise".

The docking at the "jetty" ( Walking down the Aisle ) was an amazing one.

When I look at the people that matter the most to me, and when I look at the huge megagodzilla cross in front of me... it brought me to tears ( PHEW if you didn't see the bride's watering eyes on that day ). I could only bare to look at those 2 things for a few seconds each time, else my tears would have really DESTROYED my makeup. HAHA.



I guess the best part of the wedding was that overwhelming intense feeling of utter thankfulness and joy in the heart that THIS IS THE DAY INDEED.

Like when you've been sailing for a long time and you finally see land.
Or like you've been walking in the desert and you finally see water.
I wonder if that's how Noah felt.

THANK YOU ALL for helping make the wedding happen!

Back to "Paradise"...



Hey, who said paradise is all blissful. Take a look at the beautiful paradise of Pandora in Avatar. Beauty comes with a price. Dangerous creatures lurk in the shadows, danger awaits in those places you least expect, in places where beauty is at its best.

YES, paradise comes hand in hand with danger.

What one needs to do it learn how to live amidst beauty and danger.

If danger throws itself at you...learn to conquer and overcome it together;
( Think fighting the creatures of Pandora...whatever their names are )



If you throw yourself at danger...learn to pick yourself up and master over it, encouraging each other along the way;
( Think learning to ride the Medusa Aerocoelenterates flying dragon thingy in Avatar with the lady Avatar)



And if you need to save the world that the both of you have created together, take that risk and do what you have to do!
( Think conquering the Great Leonopteryx the biggest most powerful flying dragon thingy in Avatar)



Then, you can truly look at the horizon and soak in all its beauty.

Indeed, challenging but worth it!


It is just the beginning, but each day has been full of thankfulness.

Actually, to tell you the truth, it still feels like we are dating, except we come home to each other each day and take care of each other. :)


> shadows of vineyard & us in Margaret River, Western Australia

Voyage of the bridey: Round and White

THE drama.

I wanted to buy...of course la not THE expensive expensive one la. Affordable one. But of course get it at least a month or 2 before the wedding. Last minute shopping a no no. That's like planning your own suicide.

But noooooo, with constant weeks and weeks of nagging to "not buy" I relented.

I had to make do with my mother's old ones, in which she said I could use.

But of course with my psycho-ing and consoling myself that Okla, it's not that bad. I was prepared to made do with whatever I have.

Besides, it was kind of getting too late to search for another one.

So, throw all the secret hopes out of the window- and come back to the reality in front of my eyes.

So, it's settled. I'll use what I have.
Next, I had to think really hard how to get these fixed up/ modified slightly.
I was prepared to do it myself if I have to ( which in the circumstances it certain looked like I had to D-I-Y again.).

Literally, I thought about it through the nights, and in my sleep...how to fix/ modify it.
And pop! I woke up thinking that I could actually pull it off with the idea I had in mind.

So, please imagine for a moment that you are in my shoes- all excited and busting with enthusiasm to try the idea after nights of considering all other possibilities.
I better do it soon, like ASAP, cause it's really only a 3 weeks to the day.

THEN!

One morning, she decided to change her mind. " Don't use mine la. Go buy your own."

It really did feel like a somebody just smashed your newly made one and only masterpiece to the ground.

I was so shocked at the sudden change, I cried. All hope smashed in a matter of seconds. Remember I already threw all the secret hopes out of the window.

"What am I going to do now?"

You tell me 2 weeks before the wedding? Very good, very good. Give me heart attack laaaa...When I want to buy I get scolded. Not buy and be guai...also kena balik. Now want me to buy. Good... Man, confusing me, confusing meeee.

My lovely bridesmaids called me to say it's ok ( THANK YOU DIV AND GRACE). Oh man, I don't cry over these things...so embarrassing but I couldn't do anything for the next 10 mins but cry HAHA.

After the shock I was ok la. After so many incidents of God's faithfulness on my Voyage of the bridey, I guess I wasn't quite as worried as I use to be. Now, I could actually tell myself ( after the 10 mins of wetting the pillow la) that He will provide cause He always has, it is just the matter of "when" and "how".

Better what, now I can get my own. Hehe. Now, where do I find a "round and white" choker with a few layers that doesn't cost a bomb in this hour of the wedding?

I guess she felt quite bad cause the same day she came back telling me that she asked a few shops and they could actually make it, customize it.

Lo and behold, a friend from Sandakan called that night ( or the night after). The last time we went to visit her, we bought "round and white" bracelets at a "shopper's paradise price"...a.k.a really cheap la. Half the price or even better if compared here.

Yea so she called and we asked her just in case...if she could check it out for us.
She did...and they could actually make it!
Last I heard, making it there is half the price of making it here.
But now she wants to give it to me as a gift so she refused to tell me how much la...evilllllll!!!!!!

Good timing, ONCE AGAIN, God's timing. She did call me in the nick of time. And I will be getting it in the nick of time as well ( like 1 day before the wedding) HAHA.

Cheh wah, a gift alllll the way from "OVER-the-SEA" k. HAHA.

THANK YOU GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...

I told her..."man, you really are a saviour la."

Sometimes I wonder why He always does it this way. Break you till you are about to give up, then reward you with something so much more. But thinking about it, it is wonderful cause if He doesn't "break" you, you won't be able to see and appreciate the beauty and things that He faithfully provides. You would be so caught up with getting what you want and what you think you want, and you would be so stubborn in getting and doing what you want, and you would be really, an ungrateful piggy.

Indeed over and over again, He is faithful. Even in our unfaithfulness.



Morning by morning I wake up to find
the power and comfort of God's hand in mine.
Season by season I watch him amazed, in
awe of the mystery of his perfect ways
All I have need of his hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me

I can't remember a trial or a pain he did
not recycle to bring me gain. I can't
remember one single regret in serving
God only and trusting His hand
All I have need of his hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me

This is my anthem, this is my song, the
theme of the stories I've heard for so long.
God has been faithful, he will be again.
His loving compassion, it knows no end.
All I have need of his hand will provide.
He's always been faithful to me

Voyage of the bridey: Life's like that, live with it.

So it dawned upon me while I was half asleep on my bed.
Nonetheless, it was a revelation.

I, honestly, was going to a rough patch in my emotional state.
And it doesn't help when girls have like 4 demanding hormones wanting to be queen.
Not fair that guys only have one to (NOT) worry about.

Ok, so I've been complainey for the past few days.
My expectations played an important villain in this episode.

I must say, I felt very disappointed.
and my body went into I'm-so-poor-thing mode.
But is seemed like the more I I'm-so-poor-thing, and the more I push my expectations, the feeling gets worse la.
The words I get thrown back at me is "Endure la", "Cope with it", or even worse- no response at all. HEH.

But alas! I realize that it is all but futile to expect, demand and cry over spilled milk!
It is inversely proportionate to feeling contended and fulfilling one's needs!
But it is so funny how girls always tend to do that to get attention- complain like it's everyone Else's fault but your own.



But complaining will only push people away more and more...and you'll end up feeling worse than before. Even if someone does "kesian" you...it only encourages you to complain more and more and it might get out of control cause you feel so happy that someone agrees with you.

But actually, the core issue is still not solved.
People will think you are an grumpy old lady with nothing better to do but complain all the time.
But far from it, it is the emotional reaction of what's hurting deep within the soul!



Instead,
I quote my darling "Life's like that, live with it!".
If one has expectations of how it should be like, how your life should be like, or how people should be like, then one is in for a big big disappointment.

Life is not ideal. At least not in OUR ideal.
Put down those expectations, put away those ideals and
Take life as it is! In all its imperfectness and un-ideal-ness.

It is a struggle and it does not happen overnight. But it is important indeed to come to the realization, to move pass the emo-ness that we feel, that the problem lies not with the others around us, but from ourselves.

If I stop at the emo-ness and never move on, I think I will be become a very depressed person, wallowing in what I SHOULD have and I think I OUGHT to have.

Only after coming to that realization, only then was I able to lay it all down before Him completely and to know that the world and all that is in it will fail us, but He will not.

And in that letting go, (and letting God) it is only than one can find contentment and fulfillment and peace.
The more you try to meet your needs, the less they will be met;
but the less you try to meet your needs ( a.k.a let go), the more they will be met!

Our expectations are man-made.
But He exceeds out expectations beyond what we can see and gives us so much more.
If only we were to see it from His perspective.

Oh of course one expects to be soothed and who doesn't want to be pampered and spoiled and to get what one wants.
And the people at the other end has to endure endless complains and still smile and try to be sane.
Of course there are times for encouragements;
But there also times when one does need a positive knock in the head.
Families, loved ones, the people around may not be ideal, may not be what we expect them to be, everyone has their own struggles.
But ever more, it allows us to face adversity, challenges and trials with so much more bravery, patience, and reliance on God.

Like in the movie,Evan Almighty, WATCH THIS:



When one prays for patience, does God give you patience or the opportunity to be patient?
If one prays for courage, does God give one courage or the opportunity to be courageous?
If some one prayed for the family to be closer, you think god zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

God provides what you need, not what you to think you WANT to sooth your hurting soul.
And in times like these, one discovers the grace and goodness of God over and over again, just when we are about to give up.

:) btw, I'm not talking about my darling.

Importing dreams

Hey people, I'll be importing my blog posting of my dreams here and deleting the other account (tissuedreams) for convenience sake.

So if you want to read the older dreams that I've previously posted, do check out ASLEEP at the "labels" section on the right or scroll down to whichever you haven't read la.

AWAKE is for normal posts. Yea, my dreams might sound a bit abnormal. LOL.

Ya, just to let you know, I have tons of crazy dreams. And the best part is I remember them. I will slowly post them here...and I am slowly compiling them into a book for keepsake.

:)

3rd Golden Rule: Part 2- When differences collide- Resolving THE conflict

Right.

Time for one of the most challenging part of a relationship-
when differences collide HEAD-ON!

As most know, it is not easy to resolve conflicts that come along the way.
and most of the time couples end up starting a World War 3.
The aftermath of the war is usually not pretty and its damage can never fully be recovered.



GULP.

So how should one go about this bertension situation?

WHEN IN CONFLICT:


1.FOCUS ON THE ISSUE,not attack each other!

NEGOTIATE differences.
the focus should be "us-centered".
it should be finding out what is the BEST solution for US both-
Both needs to ADJUST- not one sided.

NOT
Attack ( ME-centered) and react defensively.
Common isn't it to go :" It's your fault. You were the one that..."




NOT
Surrender ( YOU-centered) and "give in"and grudgingly cooperate.
The giving in type will go :" OK la whatever la..."



It does not lead to a dynamic relationship.
One day either one will "I HAVE ENOUGH OF GIVING IN" and drop the relationship like a hot potato.

NOT
Bargain ( Conditional )
and making it seem "equal".



"If you don't do it, I won't do it; but if you do, I can do it too. Fair, fair. You don't pick up your clothes, then I won't wash it for you."
No doubt this will seem to work perfectly fine BUT it really isn't healthy.
It becomes like one must "earn" the other's love.
Not good, not good.



2. JOINT not point!



See the disagreement as a JOINT PROBLEM
that needs to be worked out together
with a common solution.

NOT
oh, that's the other's problem, he should solve it himself.
Instead of fighting against each other,
or pointing fingers and demanding for the other to change,
BE ON THE SAME SIDE!






VERY VERY IMPORTANT!
Even though you think it is not your problem
there is no harm helping and supporting and sharing the load of the other person!

Listen to each other's perspective.
You'll be surprise on how different the other thinks.

Always see the way FORWARD
that is NEITHER your way or my way
BUT a NEW way!





Case-in-point for 1. & 2.:





WE use to have timing issues when going to church or going out.
He will go :" I'm coming at 3pm."
So ya I will go down to wait for him at the gate at 3pm.
Mana tau, his 3pm is 3.45pm.
Happened, once, twice, trice etc etc etc.
I felt pretty tired and pissed that he always made me wait so long.
But yet I tried to zip and don't' say anything to prevent an argument.
I could have easily confronted him and ask him to fix his own timing problem.
BUT
I thought maybe I could solve it for him myself.
So, instead of taking his word for it...
I wait for half an hour before going down.
Mana tau...he earlier than me. HAHA.
But you know? He actually told me :" Why you so slow one...I wait very long leh."
I was pretty pissed I tell you.
I can wait la... but you cannot waittt laaaa..like that laaaaa...
BUT
instead of bursting out in anger and bringing out the a zillion incidents that he made me wait,
I zipped and decided to cool down before my stupid mouth takes over.
Later I told him nicely how long a usually wait for him and how I thought I could adjust my time to his but it didn't work.
Then I suggested that we find a solution that works for the both of us.
The conclusion, he will message me when he passes by the mosque ( which is 2 minutes away from my house).
Then I will know that I should make a move and go down.
Of course it took quite a lot of adjusting initially...
Oppss, still too early...or Oppss still too late.
But we manages to narrow down our waiting time to about 5 minute max.
Even now, there are bumps in the "I'm coming" and "I'm waiting"
but it doesn't really bother us anymore
cause we know we are constantly working on it together.
Not your problem.
Not my problem.
But a joint problem.



3. PEACE is not silence.






Building intimacy and peace in a relationship
does not happen by " NOT arguing or keeping quiet".




It might seem peaceful on the surface...
but inside resentment will grow and accumulate...
and it will become a volcano waiting to EXPLODE!
The aftermath will be even worse than keeping the peace.




Intimacy and peace happens when there is a dynamic relationship.
Expressing and Solving the problem TOGETHER.

But people have different personalities, some like to keep it all inside while others like to burst it all out!

So,
Extroverts- you need to control your expression of your feelings and emotions and learn to listen more.
If you say too much, you might end up hurting the person though it is not your intention.

Introvert- you need to learn to express yourself and be open about your feelings.
If you don't, how the heck is the other person suppose to know?






Either how, both must be considerate of the other and communicate.
Keeping quite does not make the problem go away.
It will only get worst.
And the problem can get bigger and bigger.
Then it will be even worst/ more difficult to deal with.

Case-in-point:



I remember I was playing guitar for church for the first time for worship.
Normally I play the piano.
So playing guitar for church is something pretty new for me.
What more, the chords all canggih-canggih one la.
So I was even more scared and felt incompetent.
I told him my woes before service started but you know what he said?
"Ahya, don't worry la. You play or don't play..cannot hear one..no difference."
*ping* Heart pain.
So agonizing I tell you...
I felt like crying! Was just holding back my tears.
And while playing for service, my mind was not concentrating on what I'm suppose to play,
but the words " you play or don't play no difference" kept ringing in my head!
Even after service I wanted to tell him but I didn't really know how to.
I thought to myself, maybe the feeling will go away la..then I won't have to say anything.
But it didn't.
It only got worse and worse.
The word taunting and haunting me over and over again.
Finally, I plucked up the courage and said jokingly
:" Dearrrrrrrr, When I was playing the guitar, all that was in my head was " you play or don't play no difference. "YOU- not encouraging" ( spit tongue and said it in a teasing way cause we always say it to each other- a private joke). "
He was shocked and then he laughed cause he really didn't meant it that way.
He went:" Really ah? Hehe. Oppss. Sorry dear, sorry. I didn't' mean it that way. Your playing is and has always been good. But I wasn't talking about you. I was meaning that they usually put the guitars so soft that it is not audible when the congregation sings. So if you are afraid of making mistakes, don't' worry, cause the congregation won't know."
Me:" Oh. It's ok dear.That's good to know but I am sensitive HEHE, next time
"please be more encouraging "(private joke again)."
And both of us laughed at how we have misunderstood each other so.
I felt much better voicing it out and clearing the situation.
It helps.
Imagine if I kept in inside. It won't have haunted me forever and ever!
And what more! Haunted by a misunderstood statement!



4. RIGHT TIMING is everything!





So, I just told you to "speak out" right..
BUT one must be wise in one's timing as well.

Avoiding using your Paktoh time to pinpoint problematic issues.
It will only lead to your Paktoh time becoming a dread
and it will not be enjoyable anymore.
One will tend to have this preconceived thought that the other is going to point out more mistakes.
So keep Paktoh time PURELY Paktoh time and just enjoy each other.

Find the best time to "discuss/ solve" the issue.
Cooling down first before coming together to solve it IS good.
It prevents more hurtful and futile disagreements.
Things said in anger are also usually not true or exaggerated!
But these words are what stays with us long after the argument is over.

Restraining to the proper time
IS part of the cost of loving the other!

Sooooo...

NEVER say things when you are angry!
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will EVER regret! -Anon


5. Watch your MOUTH!




Besides NEVER saying things when you are angry...

Avoid at all cost the usage of the words " YOU ALWAYS" and "YOU NEVER".
It only provokes the other person.
And the accusation is usually not true anyway.
It's just a burst of anger.
When you use these hurtful words, you are focusing on ATTACKING each other's character instead of focusing on the ISSUE.

INSTEAD
use "I" and "Me" to express your own feelings.
Instead of "You always go out so long. Never spent time with me!";
say" I feel hurt and a bit lonely cause I don't see you very often. and I miss you much!"
It is really more productive than accusing your partner.
And it demonstrates gentleness instead of judgmental-ness.
Your partner won't feel that he needs to purposely take time for you but he would AUTOMATICALLY want to spend time with you.
It makes it easier for your partner to genuinely mean he's sorry and do something about it.

Now that is also a "tip" I learnt from my dad.
My dad is awesome. He always tells me super good relationship secrets. HAHA.
One day he told me:
" You know how to win your partner over? It's very easy but most girls do the opposite. To get us guys to do what you what...all you have to do is speak and be loving and tender to us! We'll feel so loved that we'll do anything to make you happy. What's the point of demanding us of our attention and nagging us( such a natural instinct for us girls to do that)! It will only drive us further and further away. So you girls should be smarter."




Of course he meant we girls should do it genuinely because we love them la.
Not cunningly trying to get something out of the guy.
That's wrong.
And he says that it makes all the difference "how you do or say it".

But i think it is very good advice! ( P.s. it works wonders girls! )


NEVER drag up past incidents.
Like:" Last time you did it, now you are doing it again..."
It will not do you any good to keep count of all the times he has not said sorry.
Now is now. Last time is last time.
Even if the other person drags up past incidents...
YOU SHOULD NOT RETALIATE!
I tried it and it really doesn't do any good.
End up blaming each other for every single thing.

NEVER make cruel personal comments.
Like:" You, you are such a terrible lazy pig!"
Does more damage and harm that intended.

Mose people recall things said to them in anger, especially the horrible things.
It does things to our self-esteem!
And Most of the time those things are not true!
But it stays there! Haunting and taunting the hurt.


6. GUSTAN!



Be prepared to backdown!
Admit that you were wrong and say you're sorry instead of making excuses!
Excuses does not equals to saying sorry.

See the other's point of view instead of being stubbornly supporting your own views.
If you learn to put your self in the other's shoes,
The other will not feel the need to "defend" himself.

Winning an argument is counterproductive.
What's the point? To keep score? See who wins more?

Backing down TOGETHER will cost us our pride
BUT it will gain us a happier relationship.

Case-in-point:
He was pissed at me cause...
I had a meeting in church so he went back first.
Asked me to message him when it's over then he will come get me.
I thought the meeting was going to be over cause it was the last point already.
So I messaged him that it was the last point already so can come.
Mana tau, when he came...
The last point had proceeded to many other last points.
So I asked him to come down and sit with me first.
HEHEHEHE.
Ended up waiting for like 20 minutes.
And he was pissed.
OPPSSS.
I told him I really thought that they were going to be over.
But that's not what he wanted to hear from me.
He wanted to me just admit I was wrong and say " Sorry, I miscalculated the time."
That's all.
Not make excuses to justify me asking him to come early.
So, lesson well learnt.
SAY YOU'RE SORRY. NOT MAKE EXCUSES.
:P



Conclusion:



Unresolved conflict can silently darken and destroy the relationship.
And it might be too late if one realizes too late.

Differences and disagreements should not destroy a relationship,
but instead,
the resolution strengthens and develops the relationship further.

The very same issues that threaten to divide the relationship can draw us closer and move forward.

Coming to an agreement is not about suppressing one's personality,
BUT about discussing the different point of views,
understanding each other,
and finding new ways to combine each other's strengths.




Coming up next: Lost and Found-Forgiveness and Restoration!